Mid-life Changes – Part 2

This is Part 2 of my Mid-life Changes posts.


As noted in Part 1, I've taken steps to improve life based on recent events. I had recently been feeling restless and constantly bored, despite my day filled with work, a side hustle, and house-chores. I've just had my first therapy session, and its opened my eyes to what is going on!

I discovered that:


Ever since I was a child, I've been a subject of routine. Two examples from when I was child that I strongly remember:

Then, when I became a father, further routine was suggested to me by my parents. Not in a negative sense, but always with the words “a routine is so important for babies” etc. For example:

Why did we do this? All to teach the baby good routine, so there are no surprises, which overall calms them and thus teaches them to sleep well at night. There are other examples, but this is easiest and most common.

Currently, I'm still very fixed in routine to this day. For example:

Session Two

This became the focus of my next therapy session. Without intention, we revisited the custody case and how this was a trauma event in my life.

The following was put to me:

We discussed that whilst a routine is an excellent strategy, it doesn't work for me currently. I've been doing the same routine for years (caring and parenting children), and now two out of three have left home, thus leaving me a void in my life, with my routine now thrown out as such a large part of my life is not the same anymore. It's changed.

The Plan

It is now more important than ever to mix things up. Break the routine. Practice being uncomfortable. The more I practice this, the easier it will be should something unexpected come around the corner.

I found something oddly strange about this that I discovered in that second session.

The session took place on a Wednesday afternoon. Currently, as you may see from my other posts, I'm currently training for a marathon. My training is usually early morning approximately 6-7am, and on Monday's I do swimming as this is gentle cross-training the day after a long run on the Sunday.

On the Monday before therapy, I didn’t go swimming between 6am and 7am, I thought I'd have a rest day instead. However, at 7pm that day, I felt that I missed it, and I'll go swimming at 8.30pm (adult swim lanes) instead. To be completely honest, I was quite anxious over this. Parking was more difficult as the usual crowd were not there at 6.30am, when I looked into the pool it looked busier than 6.30am – There were people splashing, messing around and generally having fun! I thought to myself that I just need to crack on with this and go swimming. It's what I'm here for. I did – it was excellent, and I had a great swim! 🏊

So, this was naturally discussed as part of the routine conversations in session #2, and how although there was initial anxiety, nothing bad happened, and at the end of it a good swim took place!

So, the plan is all about mixing things up. Learning how to do different things, much like when changing job roles or companies.

My homework was then set for the following week, which was to mix things up. Break the routine, do things differently, don't plan – just do! This is also where this blog came from. I've always wanted to write a blog, mostly focusing on technical problems that I've come across in my life, so I though – why not just start? So I have, and here it is.

#lifeevents #reflection